Reconstructing a Hug – now at Amazon

My self-published ebook about my initial brush with breast cancer, a short book with 100 vignettes is available at

Book cover - Reconstructing a Hug

Look at those pretty pretty flowers. The eBook is actually a compilation of blog posts from my other site

I have been missing in action for over a year but I plan to continue my saga on the site. Please subscribe for new content as I update.

So take a stroll over to amazon and drop some coins and love my way.


What NOT to Say to a Stage N-er

I was going through a bad patch in the black hole that is chemo a few weeks ago.  My usual sunny disposition *chuckles* was a tad off…Ok I was in raging beast mode without the strength.  Then a “friend” calls me.  I’ve taken a LOA from work to concentrate on my health and spend my suddenly precious time with my family. The friend starts off well asking how I’m holding up and if there was anything she could do. I grunt back “thanks let me get back to you.”  She then remembers that I’m not working and asks what I spend my days doing…Perfectly innocuousness questions but they made me feel like I’ve been lazing around my couch for MONTHS with nothing to show for it but bonbon wrappers and shapeless sweats.  I hung up and pick up my PS3 controller and go back to playing Knights of Amalur Reckoning.  After a few hours of button mashing, I was ready to articulate a list on what NOT to say to a stage n-er.

So here is the list I compiled while I was just a tiny bit angry.

As a four year and counting breast cancer survivor, I’ve heard some pretty stupid insensitive comments from well meaning people.  I get it’s a scary disease and sometimes we are at a loss on how to deal.  Just don’t do the following:

  1. Do not talk about someone else going through cancer – its a club no one wants to belong to and frankly it’s about me right now.
  2. Do not ask how long I have – last I checked I don’t have an expiration date stamped on my foot.
  3. Do not say any variation of the following – “You are so brave, I don’t know how you do it.”  I may have to test my left hook, just to see if I still have the strength…
  4. No comments on appearance.  Yes, I have no hair and I look like Skeletor so keep it to yourself.  Also don’t admire my weight-loss
  5. Comments about how my kids will miss me.  Again see foot – no expiration date.
  6. Any pink shit merchandise will be promptly stuffed down the throat of offering party.

So avert your eyes and dart behind the alley when you see me…No.  Just a hearty hello and a sincere “How are you doing today?”  That’s all I ask.  Okay back to our regular programming.

I’ve cooled down since the incident and the poor thing was only trying to reach out to me her friend though I’ve always been a loner with questionable social skills.  I called her back to thank her for calling me and to accept her offer of lunch where we proceeded to gossip like the good old days before my right boob turned against me.